Busted: Lindsay Lohan Caught Walking,
Presumably, For Drugs
Reel Loop Satire Squad, blog.reelloop.com, 4.5.10 - Lindsay Lohan caught selling baby giraffes for cocaine
Troubled actress Lindsay Lohan has been photographed walking to purchase large amounts of cocaine over the weekend.
Lohan, best known for starring in the hit show, TMZ, has earned the scorn of the nation for actually walking somewhere. Disreputable paid sources have gone on record stating that Lohan was spotted walking towards a giant mountain of “fine” cocaine adjacent to Bluebird Bakery on National Blvd in Culver City, CA.
“When I saw that picture of Lindsay Lohan, I pretty much knew that she was heading out to score some coke,” said an online commenter going by the name of “FunBoy23LA.” “I mean, just look at her, she has a handbag, she’s on the phone, what else could she be doing? Going to get a cupcake? Get real. She’s after coke.”
The picture of Lohan shows the starlet in boots and wearing a blonde wig, due to what mysterious, and probably made-up insiders call “f*cking bald virus from doing too much coke.”
“I heard LiLo has penises for fingers, snorts gasoline off trucker’s thighs and dances in a Barney suit for cash every Thursday for Saudi Arabian businessmen,” says PantyRaid2008. “It’s true. My friend knows the maid that cleaned up after her when she was at a hotel in Arizona.”
The Lohan camp has called each story “deplorable and completely false.”
Not so says ApeChoke1: “OMG! Lindsay is high on crack — she has no idea where she is. Look at that new picture! She’s walking to sell baby giraffes for cocaine by that bakery. Everybody knows that there is a heap of coke by there. I bet there is a baby giraffe in her purse. Bitch. I love baby giraffes!”
(following comment left @ Huffington Post, CelebSlam, The Superficial, MSNBC.com 4.19.10) thewaymouth: If Dr. Drew filled his kids' car with illegal drugs, sent them on their way and then called the cops, it could and should then be HE who went to jail for setting up someone else for false arrest. If I were the judge in that case I'd throw away the key on him.
This "doctor" says he does not know Lindsay or if she has a problem, but he prescribes a treatment anyway. He could say the same thing about the president or anyone else for that matter. Drew is a sham. Lindsay's own father uses the media to relentlessly harass and humiliate his daughter, and Drew seconds that attack. Drew compounds her father's behavior, adding to her stress by pig-piling on.
Lindsay is right. Drew is not a real doctor. He is not professional. He has no ethics. Privacy means nothing to him. Drew-gooder is a celebrity shrink, out for celebrity and riches. He gloms off the glam of others for his own pathetic addiction to fame. He is the one who needs an intervention. Shame on him.
____________________________________This "doctor" says he does not know Lindsay or if she has a problem, but he prescribes a treatment anyway. He could say the same thing about the president or anyone else for that matter. Drew is a sham. Lindsay's own father uses the media to relentlessly harass and humiliate his daughter, and Drew seconds that attack. Drew compounds her father's behavior, adding to her stress by pig-piling on.
Lindsay is right. Drew is not a real doctor. He is not professional. He has no ethics. Privacy means nothing to him. Drew-gooder is a celebrity shrink, out for celebrity and riches. He gloms off the glam of others for his own pathetic addiction to fame. He is the one who needs an intervention. Shame on him.
Gram Parsons - We'll Sweep Out The Ashes In The Morning
X - What's Wrong With Me
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